OK, all you cowboys, here’s the lowdown on the Slick 50 get down:

Let’s get one thing straight, right out the gate. The Slick 50 is not a race. It’s not an alley cat, a gran fondle, a pub crawl, nor a fucking gravel grinder. (shudder). The Slick 50 is a road ride. But that doesn’t necessarily mean a paved road ride. So come prepared for just about anything, Pavé, mud, dirt, gravel, tarmac. Most people ride drop bars, and you could certainly do the route on 25c’s, but run wutchu brung, Bring a spare tube/tools/pump/food/water, etc.

Yes, historically this has been technically a “no-drop” ride, but yes, groups will form. There will be some fast fuckers on the front. If you’re a fast fucker, feel free to go to the front, however, also please realize that it’s wayyyy early in the season. No need to turn yourself inside out to try and stay with the lead group. Find a good crüe, and ramble on. We are all finishing at Steel Toe Brewing; they have plenty of beer. Most importantly remember, there are some major busy intersections on route. We will be riding on open roads, trails, paths, with cars, pedestrians, dogs, strollers, joggers, etc. Use your head. Always use common sense and ride safely. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU. Furthermore, if I witness any cuntish behaviour toward other riders or road users, I will not only call you out, but I may tackle you off your bike and/or let the air out of your tires. 

As always, there is only one rule on the Slick 50: *NO KOOKS. 

*It’s been brought to my attention that there has been a bit of internet chatter this week regarding the NO KOOKS rule. It’s like this: Kook could also be synonomous with dick, asshole, or twat. If you have any intention of being a dick, asshole, or twat, I admonish you to do so on someone else’s ride. It’s really just about personal accountability. Don’t be a kook. When in doubt, just remember what Surly sez: 

The route is posted here, and even has cue sheet directions. (please note you will need to print your own)

PLEASE NOTE: There are plenty of major intersections on route. We will be riding on busy, open roads, trails, paths, with cars, pedestrians, dogs, strollers, joggers, etc. Use your head. Always use common sense and ride safely. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF.